its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
