bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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