Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
