Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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