But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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