Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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