Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i think i just lost a toe
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
