i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
