i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
