I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
