Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
