My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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