If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
