I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
