So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
