ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
