Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Found your dick twin last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
