I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
