Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
