I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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