I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
