Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
