please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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