I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
