I wanna bring you to show and tell
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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