so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
