I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
