me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How external is "for external use only"?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
