Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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