i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He shit in the fireplace
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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