'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
