it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
