You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
