dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
