Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
