need another drink. this is the easiest way
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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