like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
