there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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