so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
