It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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