Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
