I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
