Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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