And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
smell my finger.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
