Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
