A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
