It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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