I didn't shave. On purpose
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
