i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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