no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
